Everyone loves to take out their old pictures and look through them at the horrible hair styles, clothes, ex-significant others, friends and just the many good times that a photograph can capture. There's nothing much more intoxicating than being nostalgic. You get to looking at those photos and start thinking about the "what if" and "remember when" and before you know it you're lost in the memories crammed into the back of your mind. Since I love to write, I have tons of journals to sift through to go with these photographs and reading these are just as much fun as looking at pictures. All the crushes, fights, dramatic moments are just so funny to look back on.
We have all heard the question "If you could go back in time and do things differently, would you?" So, would you? Most people are quick to answer with the easy unimaginative cliched response of "No, my past has made me who I am today." Yeah, even I give that answer from time to time and while that IS true (for the most part) it's also a lie.
We all know that if by some freak time warp accident (it's just a jump to the left...oh wait, that's a different time warp. :D ) we woke up to find it was 10/20/30 years later than it was when we went to sleep (after the initial freak out) we would all be plotting and thinking wildly of what to change first!
-Would you still date that guy/girl even though you know how horribly it's going to end?
-Would you choose the same friends? Even the ones that ended up never being there when you desperately needed them?
-Would you study more and party less or party more and study less?
-Would you go for that drive/run/walk even though you know a life changing accident awaits you?
-Would you take the risks you were too worried about taking the first time around?
-would you make yourself rich by betting on winning games or historical moments. OR by stealing that movie/TV/song idea that doesn't come out for years. (after all, it's not technically stealing if it hasn't been thought of yet...right?)
-Would you make an effort to put yourself on the line to try and stop tragic events from happening (9/11, school shootings, bombings, kidnappings...etc...)?------> I know it's a stretch but again I'm only hypothetically speaking here.
-Get even with a bully?
-Spend more time with someone that has passed?
-Still get that horrible haircut/perm/dye job?
-Cheat?
-Tell that little lie that turns out to be a big deal?
The mistakes we make in life can be fun at times but I know there are a few things I would change if I could and there are a few big moments I would keep the same (no matter the outcome). If the path I'm on now is that path I'm meant to be on then it doesn't matter what I would or wouldn't change or do differently. So why not have a little fun if you have a 2nd chance?
*I'd still let my 1st love break my heart.
*I'd still fall head over heels for that guy I met in another country even though I know I'll probably never see him again.
*I'd say "I don't" instead of "I do". Not to be mean but really, do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to change your name on EVERYTHING and then a year or so later have to change back your name on EVERYTHING?
*I'd still take that crappy job in Belmont that had me working with God's joke of a human being because I found a good friend while working there. Plus I had insurance while I was pregnant. :-)
*There are a few people I would never become friends with in high school and after because it was nothing but a waste of time and energy to be friends with these people when in the end I was only getting punched in the gut or stabbed in the back. (eye roll)
*I wouldn't go for that jog...so that I would never lose some of my memories. (although this was my eye opener on how crooked our justice system is)
There's a list a mile long (probably) of things I would and wouldn't change if I woke to find myself in the past. And though "you have to know the past to understand the present" Dr. Carl Sagan, the future is still wide open for interpretation so there's really no point in dwelling on the changes that could have been made only on the changes that can be made.
So, while your past may have helped make you who you are today, ultimately it's YOU that has made you who you are through a series of different choices we are presented along the way. The wonderful thing about having a path in life is that even when you stray from that path it's always going to be there waiting for you to find your way back.
So, if you could leap to the past would you erase the bad memories and linger on the good ones or do you truly think those bad memories are what's shaping your future? I choose to believe only the good ones make me who I am but it's impossible to forget the bad...(in most cases).
The past is fun to look back on and fondly say "remember when" but thinking about the "what if" will only drive you nuts! I'm happy right where I'm at.
"You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present." Jan Glidewell
