Confessions of a nobody: "I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spook, I do I do I do believe in spooks"

I'll go ahead and admit it, I'm the biggest scaredy cat there is. I never grew out of being afraid of the dark, the "boogie man" or things that go bump in the night. As years passed, I did attempt to rationalize my irrational fears. So, instead of being afraid of your typical slimy, horned, sharp tooth, glowing eyed monster lurking in the shadows, I'm now afraid of the freaked out desperate gun man, rapist, murderer (etc...) monsters lurking in those shadows. The "boogie man", who in my mind when I was little looked like "the Darkness" from the movie Legend, now takes on the form of any ol normal person. Hence the reason people freak me out.

Now, as for things that go bump in the night, I'm still trying to convince myself "it's just the house settling".
Out of all the classic horror movie creeps, Michael Myers terrifies me the most. (don't ask...he just does. I have my reasons). I mean, I don't believe he's real and go running and screaming like a banshee when I see someone in the costume but if he pops up behind me, I'm definitely peeing on myself a little.

Even though I've attempted to rationalize my fears of the dark, when the lights are off every little noise is magnified and makes my hair stand on end and sends a shock wave of fear up my spine. You know you've felt it too! At night when it's time for bed and your going through the house cutting off the lights your pace quickens a little when you have a pitch black room at your back. It feels as if the darkness takes on this form that's slowly creeping up behind you making you slightly tense and teasing that place you've tucked away your irrational fears. You start to get that feeling that any minute somethings going to jump out and get you and you don't dare look back and slow down. Then once you reach your room, you do a little jump to the safety of your bed because that irrational fear has been released and all you can think about (no matter how hard you try not to) is something or someone reaching out from under the bed and grabbing your feet.

When night falls I double lock all the doors and close all the blinds. I hate the thought of looking out of a window into the blackness of night and not being able to see who or what may be lurking, lying in wait and staring right back at me.

And don't even get me started on ghosts! Everyone thinks I'm crazier than usual when I talk about randomly smelling cigarette smoke and moving frames. OR when I talk about hearing the footsteps and the opening and closing of doors when I lived in my grandpa's old house alone. OR how about the time an ex and I were sitting on my parent's front porch late at night and we hear the sound of kids playing followed by someone (THAT WASN'T THERE) saying and then shouting his name!! He shoved me out of the way and ran! When I lived at home we always had cats and you pet owners out there you know that feeling when your pet jumps up on the bed at night? Well, it would feel like my cat had jumped up on the bed and sat down and when I would reach for her she wasn't there. And my parent's will even admit they've heard creeping footsteps coming down the hall that fall short of their bedroom door. EEK!!!

I'm obviously NOT the type of person that will go and investigate an odd noise. If I hear or see something creepy.....I'M OUT!!!!!!!! If you want to investigate it, fine but know that it's the nosey ones that get killed and if I hear you screaming for help, you better believe I'm putting an even greater distance between me and whatever it was that got your ass!!! Nice knowing ya.

Nowadays the big "scare you till you crap your pants" concept is Zombies.

UGH...REALLY?!?!?! I'm already paranoid enough about the people around me. Now I have to worry about waking up one day to some zombie apocalypse where my neighbors are coming at me knife and fork in hand licking their blooding lips looking to get a piece of Tiffany rare on the bone and with the fat. yum.

All that being said and pushed aside Halloween is still my favorite time of year.