No more Apple Festival for me!

I so unfortunately (sarcasm) will NOT be attending the Lincoln County Apple Festival this year.  Their refusal to open more streets or just spread it down the street a little more to fan people out has made the festival a massive cluster f*!k and not at all stroller (of any size) friendly.  Then you add in the douche bag teenagers that run around bumping into people because...like...ya know why should they...like...you know have to move for everyone else.  Then you have the people that just love to bring their pets.  OK, that's not SO bad but when you have a monster dog on the end of the leash that's trying to rip your arm off to get through the damn crowd knocking down everyone in it's path...then that's just not cool.  Do everyone a favor, LEAVE THE FREAKING DOGS HOME! They don't care about the Apple Festival. 
Now, on top of maneuvering a stroller through a crowd of a million people relentlessly shoving and cursing at you for having a stroller and I guess a kid in the first place...we run into the folks we know that just like to stop in the middle of it all and have a "let's catch up on the past 10 years" conversation.  UGH...REALLY?!?!? If you really wanted to know how I've been all these years...I'm on facebook, in the phone book, my parents haven't moved and I still live in Lincolnton...I can't possibly be that hard to locate...look me up. I really don't want to talk to you now as I'm getting elbows "accidentally" thrashed into my ribs.  
That brings me to the people that you used to be friends with but now you know they hate you and well...you never really did like them in the first place.  It all starts out with that awkward smile and the very long and high pitched  "hhheeeeeyyy" followed by a silent sigh and imaginary gaging. Again, I stand there getting hit in all directions while I put on my best smiling happy face, sweating like our commissioners in church, begging God to take this person's annoying high pitched "college voice" away long enough for me to cover up my kid and plow away.  No such luck so I sit there and let them talk about all the stuff they've done (because I know talking about it makes them feel good about themselves) I smile pleasantly saying "keep in touch" knowing there's no chance in hell of that ever happening and we are back on our way.  Then you have the politician and Bible beaters that waste probably thousand of dollars on things people are going to ultimately throw on the ground (because who uses a trash can at these things), shoving things into your already full hands.  Now we have our "fine men" in uniform (UGH) There's really not much I can say here that 95% of Lincoln County doesn't already know so I'm not going to waste space talking about them (at least not in this story). 
I used to LOVE going as a kid when I could wiggle through the crowd like a Russian spy.  I'd get my funnel cake and 2 bags of cotton candy...now...it's just not worth it.  I can make my own funnel cake and stop at the cart at the corner gas station to get some cotton candy.  When Xander is old enough to know he's missing something and to ask to go then I'll just have to get over it and go.  Most of the foods never anything to brag about and there's really no place to sit and eat if you do get something.  I support our local apple orchards but I'll be showing my support in another way.