If I Die Young

This past weekend I went to a funeral/memorial service in Kentucky for an old friend of Philip's.  I never got to meet her but I wish I could have.  Lauren was only a little over a month shy of turning 28 when her life was stolen from her...yes...stolen.  The guy she was dating jerked the steering wheel during an argument they were having.  She died and he walked away practically unharmed.  Though I didn't know her, from what stories I've heard Lauren was a pretty awesome person.  She was goofy like me and didn't mind a good Disney movie.  She had a love for fall and her birthday was also in October like mine.  She loved Xander with a passion though she had never met him.  She seemed to have a free spirit and a confused understated grasp on life.  She was beautiful, smart and funny...

Philip was her "BFF" and even though they hadn't seen each other in nearly 2 years they cared about one another the way BFF's should.  It breaks my heart to see how much her loss cut him to the core.  It really makes you put things in perspective.  There are some great people in my life (family and friends) that I don't see often enough and should really let them know what they mean to me. 

Going to the funeral of someone older who lived a full life is a little less devastating and thought provoking than that of a funeral for someone young right in the middle of really living. 
Some people say things happen for a reason (even I say it from time to time) but really, what's the reason here? If it was just "her time" couldn't her "exit" have been a little less dramatic and traumatic.  I never understood why some deaths have to be so horrific.  It seems to make coping with it all a little bit harder for the family and friends left behind.  The family will always ask why and wonder what they could have done to prevent Lauren's death.  They'll recount their last moments with her and wonder if she knew how much they truly loved her.  It's not fair...plain and simple. 
I'm not 100% sure where I'm going with all this because I have so many different emotions pulsing through my mind on the subject.  Six years ago I could have died and nearly did.  I often think what if I would have? Who would have cared? What would they remember about me and what would they have to say about me?
A parent should NEVER have to bury their child.  It's all too unnatural and that' all I'm going to say about that because I can't let my thoughts go there.

When we're young we think we are going to live forever because forever seems possible.  Then we grow up and life hits us and we come to that point to where we realize forever really isn't as long as we thought it was.  No matter how hard we try, the clock never turns back.  It's at this time we have to truly learn to appreciate life for what it is...fragile, wild, unpredictable, emotional, confusing, complicated, painful, rewarding and never long enough. 
I've dealt with a lot of death in my lifetime and nothing is more painful than seeing a life cut short.  I've never really thought about how I would die but I hope I'm well into my old age and peacefully sleeping.  I hope I will have made a difference in someones life at one point and done something really amazing in the process of my many years.  I hope my children and grandchildren will have many perfect and wonderful memories of me.  I hope that I will have taught my children well.  I hope that I will have never lost my childish innocents.
BUT if I die young.......................