Move over Betty Crocker

The other day when I was reading the Country Boy, City Belle blog about cupcakes, I was suddenly inspired to try a little homemade cooking of my own.  Seeing how I've never baked a dessert that didn't come out of a box when all I had to add was water, oil and eggs...I was pretty lost from the get-go.  I, first of all, had to sort through a million different recipes on the Internet and find the one that sounded just right for me, the pumpkin spice cupcake. 

Then I had to decide what icing I wanted to put on it and search for a recipe for it.  I decided on some good ol' cream cheese icing.

It goes without saying, that this was the easiest part of my plan, it was all downhill from here.  Philip, Xander and I went to the store and again seeing how all my desserts come from a box, I was lost on where to find baking soda, baking powder, vanilla flavoring, nutmeg, ginger and even mashed pumpkin in a can (yeah, I cheated with the pumpkin part).  I know these are all very basic ingredients that I pass nearly every time I go to the store but it took us an hour or so to find these ingredients.  UGH!!! By the time we left the store, there were 3 pissed off babies in the car...Xander, Philip and myself. 

My moronic lack of knowing where to find the key ingredients had me pretty discouraged.  I didn't really think making cupcakes and icing would be complicated or that messy but I was sadly mistaken.  By the time I was finished cooking it looked like a dozen sugared up toddlers had been unleashed on my kitchen. 

All together is was really fun and I got to feel a little like June Cleaver.  The extra work paid off, my cupcakes may not be decorated all pretty but they kicked butt!!!!!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some homemade spaghetti sauce to go and check on.  ;-D

My 2 biggest critics agree! THUMBS UP!!!

"Second star to the right and straight on till morning..."

Sitting around watching Peter Pan with my son fills me with loaded sentiment.  When I was little the story of Peter Pan was one of my favorites.  It was so magical and mythical...many things a child dreams of.  My love for this story is what ultimately made me decide to ride the Peter Pan ride first thing when we got to Disney world.  It was mine and Xander's first time to Disney and anyone who knows me knows that I am a Disney freak and I insist on never growing out of it.  It was just me and my little man sailing away on that pirate ship above the story of Peter Pan and though he was only 16 months old at the time, I could tell he enjoyed every moment of it.  His eyes lit up taking in all they could.  He barked with Nanna, said "wee" around every turn and gasped at Captain Hook and his crew.  I'll admit it, I had tears in my eyes the whole ride.

When we were younger it was so easy to play make believe and with our untainted imaginations anything was possible.  I used to search the woods behind the house for fairies and every time we would go to the beach, I would scan the ocean for mermaids.  I'd always keep an eye open for a white rabbit toting a pocket watch all while wishing on stars and waiting for my prince to come. 

I'm not sure when it happens, but it always does, we grow up and lock that magic away in a special place in our hearts.  Some never revisit that feeling of being a child and take life too seriously.  Some forget about that feeling until they have a child of their own and once again, but only for a little while, they unleash that kid inside and allow their imaginations to reemerge.  But as their children grow, they slowly lock away that magic once more. 

Then there are those of us that found a way to always carry Neverland with them.  Without our dreams and imaginations the world is a dull and horrific place.  It is when we KEEP our head in the clouds and only our toes on the ground that we are able to see the magical things in life that surround us everyday.

So as I sit and watch my little man get excited at the site of Peter Pan flying, I hope and pray he will keep hold of that childlike spirit as he grows and never stop searching the sky for the elusive Peter Pan. 

"You know, I have the strangest feeling that I've seen that ship before. A long time ago, when I was very young." Mr. Darling (Peter Pan) 

"So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!"
— J.M. Barrie (Peter Pan)

Hello old friend

Fall is hands down my favorite time of the year. You can feel it and smell it in the air weeks before it officially arrives.  The smell of pumpkin and spice and apples and cinnamon fill our senses. The air smells fresh and crisp and untouched by the world. The sun rises and sets with a relaxed elegance. 

The wind picks up and seems to embrace you the moment you step outside.  The wind runs it's fingers through my hair gently playing with every strand before laying them serenely back on my shoulders.  It plays teasingly on my skin hugging me like an old friend.  The world around me turns into a rainbow of autumn colors: oranges, reds and yellows. 

There's just an overall feeling of comfort I get this time of year.  It's the calm before the storm of the holidays.  It's when I no longer have to worry about how I look in a swimsuit (if I ever wore one). 

Fall holds the only time of the year when grown ups can get away with playing dress up.

Yard work becomes a game to see how high and "fluffy" you can get that pile of leaves before you jump in them. 

It's when the summer sun's brutality is put to rest and you can finally stand in it's rays and let the warmth caress your face the way your lover would.  You can finally go outside without having a heat stroke before getting off your front porch.  There are so many simple pleasures in life to enjoy and the changing of the seasons into fall is definitely one of those. 

LOVE?

Well here I go, writing my 2 cents about love. 
Love is such a moronic thing.  When we are in love, we act like morons.  When we are chasing love, we act like morons.  When we fall out of love, we act like morons.  When we talk about love, we sound like morons.  So, how could something that has us running around like morons all the time be so desirable? I think the answer is somewhat simple...love is the most pleasurable emotion that we experience that's both simple and complex all at the same time.  We're drawn to this emotion (love) because we'll never really be able to understand it.  When it's good, we're walking on clouds but when it's bad it leaves us empty.  When you're angry...you know why.  When you're sad...you know why.  when you're happy...you know why.  When you're in love...you're unable to put into words and pin point just one thing or one reason why you love that person.  You just do...
People say that the movies/TV shows and books we read (those of us that still read) have blown love up to an impossible standard.  I say it's a load of crap.
I think people use the excuse "I'm just not a romantic person" as an excuse to be emotionally lazy in a relationship.  Women aren't ultimately asking for much.  What's so hard about remembering what your loves favorite flower is and sending her a bouquet for no other reason at all except that you love her.  Remembering the small things will pay off big time.  Unless the girl you're with is just insanely materialistic (God help you) then all she wants is for you to remember those little things and pamper her a little and not just when it's her birthday or your anniversary either. 
Don't get me wrong though, every girl is just a tiny bit materialistic so if you present her with a picnic in the park, a champagne filled hot air balloon ride, a carriage ride through the city or lets say a proposal in front of Cinderella's Castle (wink wink), she won't refuse it and will remember it forever.

No more Apple Festival for me!

I so unfortunately (sarcasm) will NOT be attending the Lincoln County Apple Festival this year.  Their refusal to open more streets or just spread it down the street a little more to fan people out has made the festival a massive cluster f*!k and not at all stroller (of any size) friendly.  Then you add in the douche bag teenagers that run around bumping into people because...like...ya know why should they...like...you know have to move for everyone else.  Then you have the people that just love to bring their pets.  OK, that's not SO bad but when you have a monster dog on the end of the leash that's trying to rip your arm off to get through the damn crowd knocking down everyone in it's path...then that's just not cool.  Do everyone a favor, LEAVE THE FREAKING DOGS HOME! They don't care about the Apple Festival. 
Now, on top of maneuvering a stroller through a crowd of a million people relentlessly shoving and cursing at you for having a stroller and I guess a kid in the first place...we run into the folks we know that just like to stop in the middle of it all and have a "let's catch up on the past 10 years" conversation.  UGH...REALLY?!?!? If you really wanted to know how I've been all these years...I'm on facebook, in the phone book, my parents haven't moved and I still live in Lincolnton...I can't possibly be that hard to locate...look me up. I really don't want to talk to you now as I'm getting elbows "accidentally" thrashed into my ribs.  
That brings me to the people that you used to be friends with but now you know they hate you and well...you never really did like them in the first place.  It all starts out with that awkward smile and the very long and high pitched  "hhheeeeeyyy" followed by a silent sigh and imaginary gaging. Again, I stand there getting hit in all directions while I put on my best smiling happy face, sweating like our commissioners in church, begging God to take this person's annoying high pitched "college voice" away long enough for me to cover up my kid and plow away.  No such luck so I sit there and let them talk about all the stuff they've done (because I know talking about it makes them feel good about themselves) I smile pleasantly saying "keep in touch" knowing there's no chance in hell of that ever happening and we are back on our way.  Then you have the politician and Bible beaters that waste probably thousand of dollars on things people are going to ultimately throw on the ground (because who uses a trash can at these things), shoving things into your already full hands.  Now we have our "fine men" in uniform (UGH) There's really not much I can say here that 95% of Lincoln County doesn't already know so I'm not going to waste space talking about them (at least not in this story). 
I used to LOVE going as a kid when I could wiggle through the crowd like a Russian spy.  I'd get my funnel cake and 2 bags of cotton candy...now...it's just not worth it.  I can make my own funnel cake and stop at the cart at the corner gas station to get some cotton candy.  When Xander is old enough to know he's missing something and to ask to go then I'll just have to get over it and go.  Most of the foods never anything to brag about and there's really no place to sit and eat if you do get something.  I support our local apple orchards but I'll be showing my support in another way. 

The foundation of my faith crumbles

I'm not a very religious person but I'm not a complete nonbeliever either.  My parents, God bless them, always ask me why I stopped going to church and why I won't go back.  My answers a straight forward one that no one really ever wants to hear but in my mind and my heart it's the truth. 
I stopped attending church around 16 or 17, which coincidentally was right around the time I started to lose sight of who I was.  The youth leader and his wife, I didn't like at all.  A youth leader is supposed to be someone the youth in the church can turn to when they need prayers and guidance but all they ever did was ridicule and judge me (but they did it in the nicest possible way because an insult in a nice voice is so much easier to take).  Some of the parents in the church were just as judgemental of me as the youth leader was.  God forbid a teen go through a change and be a little different in their precious church.  So, I thought about turning to my pastor but he was the father of a friend of mine so it seemed too weird and i was too shy to approach him.  But I always felt he saw my potential and struggle and kept me occupied for a while by allowing me to perform in a drama group he had created.  I loved performing in that group more than anything else at the time.  I felt as if I were finally doing something good, something that made a difference.  Being in this group gave me a purpose but my discouragement and discomfort around the people in the church and the people I used to call friends overshadowed the good feelings and I gave up.  The saddest part is................none of them even cared or wondered why.
Right around the time of my accident 6 years ago, I felt a pull to go back to the church but I kept putting it off.  I would read my Bible and other religious material at home and that was good enough for me.  When I was hit by the car, I was saved for a reason and to this day still believe I saw an angel (but that's another story for another time).  I started going to church again with my parents and it felt good there for a while.  I started to feel encouragement and wanted to start a drama group for the youth there to utilize my faith in the only way I really knew how.  But my idea was quickly dismissed and in crept the doubt and discouragement so I stopped going once again. 
Factoring in my failures with religion, my unhealthy relationship at the time, my doubt in myself and the whole human race, my inability to ever see anything through and my near death experience, I slowly started to reevaluate life and everyone and everything in it.  I saw the world differently and I wasn't liking what I was seeing once I officially removed the blinders but at the same time a beautiful new world of possibilities stood before me.
So,my answer when asked why I won't go back to church...why should I? There are more hypocrites full of judgement within the church wall then anywhere else.  I know not all church goers are judgemental and hypocritical and it's not that I don't believe in God.  It's that I just don't believe in the churches, ESPECIALLY the ones in this town. 
But who knows what the future holds....................................................

My awesome little monster!!!

I have a son who is the best and most exhausting part of my day.  I am with him from the moment he wakes to the moment he goes "nigh nigh".  Xander, just like his daddy is the perfect embodiment of your typical man, is the epitome of a little boy.  He hardly ever cries when he gets hurt and my little evel knievel does things to get himself hurt multiple times on an hourly basis.  He laughs when he passes gas (but I'm working on getting him to say "excuse me"....It's a slow work in progress) He knows his little boy parts and is sure to point them out EVERY time I change his diaper.  But along with knowing what his naughty bits are called he also knows hair, head, eyes, nose, mouth, hand, fingers, foot, toes, bellybutton, and boobies.  It's to the point to where we really have to watch what we say and do around him because if we realize it or not...he's watching and listening. He LOVES to run around naked but will pee in the floor in a heartbeat and then jump through it like a rain puddle.  He likes to play in dirt but is not a fan of having dirty hands.  I used to worry about having his little world clean and germ free and then came the day I saw him licking the dogs nose and playing around it's business end....all bets were off.  If I give him snacks he'll eat some of it and stash the rest for later and I won't realize it until I see him walking around with a cookie hours later that I'm certain I hadn't just given him.  He has squirrel like instincts I guess.  He is super destructive and full of nonstop energy.  I can clean a room and minutes later he will have it looking like I hadn't cleaned it in days.  He refuses to eat in a highchair (always has) but will eat like a man if sitting at the table. Though I am bigger and stronger than he is, he can kick my butt when we rough house, his secret move is...headbutting.  The kids head is so hard that he's headbutted me before and made me see stars but he acted as if it didn't even phase him.  Xander is a huge flirt and we've recently discovered he's a butt man, he likes when the girls are around him but he really enjoys watching them walk away.  LOL.  He has mad dance skills and likes all kinds of music.  Turn on the radio and he immediately starts bobbing his head and swinging those hips.  Just recently he found some drum sticks and to our amazement knows how to use them REALLY well and has astonshing rhythm.  I see and oh so fortunately hear a good drum set in our future.  Hey, Justin Beiber started off playing the drums at age 2...who knows what could happen.  :-)   

He has inherited a good bit of my personality as well.  He looks like me, has hair like me and loves to read like me.  His favorite book at the moment is Where the Wild Things Are but he'll get a little angry if I don't do the funny voices when I read it.  Throughout the day we'll read an average of 15 different books a number of different times.  I love this about him.  I hope that he'll grow up loving to read and appreciate books as much as I did and still do.

Aside from his monster attitude, he's a little sweetheart.  He doesn't like to see people cry, he loves giving hugs and kisses and he's sweet to everyone he meets.  He's my snuggly little monkey and puts the smile on my face and an extra beat in my heart.  He is my world................................  

Our story...the cliffnotes version

I’m going to do a couple background story to give you, the reader, a taste of who I am and how I got to be the person I am at the moment.

I mentioned earlier in my 1st post that I was engaged to Philip Moore. Philip is the fine example of a testosterone filled, eating, sleeping, hard working, manual laboring, burping and farting man with a heart of gold and I love him! Our story is kind of a unique little story. We first met in high school journalism class. I immediately fell head over heels for him. His feelings for me were apparently mutual just a lot harder to read. Our spare time in class (which was most of the time) was filled with writing little notes back and forth in my class notebook. We talked about everything…even how much we liked each other but neither of us thought the other was serious. I drooled over him in his tight little football uniform at every game. No, I wasn’t stalking him, I was in the colorguard. I eventually learned that Philip had many girls fawning over him and my lack of self-esteem kicked in and I just figured I never really stood a chance. We still wrote our notes with “I like you” undertones though I remained skeptical. At the beginning of February I decided I was going to give him one month to ask me out and if he didn’t then I was finally going to go out with this guy a girl from work had been bugging me about. Well, those who know Philip know how he’s a bit shy when it comes to girls and there was no way I was going to be the one to ask HIM out. So, needless to say I ended up going out with that other guy but I never really gave up on Philip. I ended up dating the other guy for many years. Then we got married and divorced shortly after. During my divorce Philip found out, through a mutual “frenemy” of ours that I was getting a divorce. I’m sure her intentions in telling him that were to put a damper on the question about me and to place judgment on my character. However, her intentions were meant he dropped her like a hot pan and started messaging me right away (on the old world of Myspace). We picked right up where our high school crushes left off 8 years prior. We dated and spent as much time together as we could which is probably why I ended up pregnant…

Allow me to introduce myself

My name, at present, is Tiffany Daugherty but I am engaged so that is set to change some time in the future.  I have 2 children.  I am the mother of 1, Grady Alexander Moore but we call him Xander, and I am the fiance of the other, Philip but I call him Sparky.  I've never been a fan of blogs or blogging.  In my experience blogs were full of nameless cowards too afraid to man up to their own lies and opinion's but I quickly learned that was just the town I lived in and it had nothing to do with blogs and blogging. 
I have a constant stream of never ending thoughts running through my mind on a daily basis and no real outlet for them so what better reason to start a blog.  My main point isn't to obtain a massive amount of readers and followers but to allow this to be the outlet for the things on my mind.  If what I have to say or talk about insults someone then oh well.  I'm not here to walk on eggshells and censor my own mind.  You can either get over it and allow me to express my freedom of speech or stop reading.  I will not apologize for who I am and I will respect others opinions just the same. 
Ok, that being said and moving on, I love to write and my mind works in mysterious ways times 2 to the extreme.  Writing has always been the one thing I've always been good at and passionate about.  Give me a pen and some paper and I will create art from my words.  If I'm not writing in my spare time, I'm reading.  A book never judges the person that reads it and it never tires of taking people on adventures.  With a great writer and a little ink, you can go anywhere and be anything.  Alice in Wonderland and Peter Pan were my favorite books growing up and no I'm not talking about the Little Golden Book versions either.  What kid didn't want to disappear down a rabbit hole a time or two and I know some adults that still think like Peter Pan.  I still hold these stories dear to my heart but as I grew Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudice became my top reading items.  Two loves stories so different but equally pure and gripping. 
Anyway, I'm a stay at home mom...not really by choice but I love being at home with my little boy all the same.  My days are filled with Toy Story, Elmo, tickle fights, reading books, temper tantrums, naps and dirty diapers.  When I get a moment to relax I escape to Facebook to see what the world of grown ups are doing just to find out no one ever grows out of throwing a temper tantrum. 
I've rambled enough for now.  I'll leave you to your thoughts while I go and get some house cleaning completed on my only time out of the week without a kid on my heels.